🇫🇮🇪🇪 Ha Ha Halfway

Hello Adventurers, 

I've been humbly getting my ass kicked by a lady all week long. It started in Finland when Mother Natch hammered me with howling wind as well as sheets of rain, and the inclement weather followed me — from one port city to another — when I sailed to Estonia (to start my tour of the Baltic States).

Everything's been drab and dreary, and a tad uncomfortable...but sorta kinda fitting 'cause it tonally complements the harsh history as well as the grim geopolitics in this part of the world (where the Soviets and the Nazis and the Russians and the Americans NATO have all done their meddling as destructive forces of nature). Like, Finland just joined the latter three months ago and the last paragraph of this NYT piece is a vibe, and the illegal Soviet occupation / annexation of Estonia resulted in the loss of a fifth of its population (via death and deportation and beyond)…as ethnic Russians filled the gap; making up nearly a quarter of Estonia’s population today.

Unsurprisingly, Putin’s war with America in Ukraine has ruffled feathers — new and old — in these parts. And that’s not me projecting…this Guardian piece from last year addresses both. Anyway, this issue covers five marathons of Helsinki and Tallinn…so let’s get into these currently on-edge places.

- Ben Pobjoy

P.S. Thank you to Sjoerd for kindly inviting me to crash with him in Finland, and to Christian for all his recos on what to do in Helsinki. Due to logistics and shit weather, I couldn’t take either up on either…but I genuinely appreciate the thoughtfulness! Thanks homies!

2023 TREK TRACKER

Where in the world...record am I?

• Countries visited: 40

• Flights taken: 43…plus a boat from Finland to Estonia this week

• Kilometres flown: 62,803

• Marathons completed: 122…halfway to a world record, bb

• Kilometres trekked by foot: 5,799.8

• Total kilometres trekked since 2015: 68,891

RAPID WEEKLY RECAP

A speedy synopsis for time-crunched readers

• The Wildest Thing: Travelling through the Schengen Area, and not having to flash a passport / deal with border controls when country hopping. It makes travel so much easier and freer, and the airport process so much faster🥰

• The Biggest Obstacle: I’ve been on the road for 11 weeks…and I think I may be nearing exhaustion ‘cause a non-stop clicking sound has developed in my left ear…and my hearing is always the first thing to go when I’m burning the candle at both ends😬

• The Lesson Learned: Long story via strict Estonian airport security guard…but I have a 143Wh ‘power bank’ battery in my carry-on luggage (to charge devices should I be unable to find electrical outlets)…and I learnt that — in the EU — you can’t fly with lithium ion batteries that exceed a 100Wh rating. Anyhoo, I’ve flown through 10 European countries these past few weeks, and this hasn’t been a problem until it was a problem, and — another long story — but mine didn’t end up getting confiscated / I got on the plane with it (but it was all a headache)…so you may want to check the watt-hour rating on the bottom of your power bank before your next flight. Thank you for attending my TED talk🫡

FIELD NOTES: HELSINKI, FINLAND

A quiet confidence

I was open to Helsinki…but it just wasn’t open to me. Partially, because I got there on a Sunday when everything was closed…but mostly because I got rained-out on the proceeding days.* And it’s a shame because there’s a lot of slick subtlety here (I just couldn’t stop for it ‘cause I was wet and freezing, and had to bag the marathons). But it made a big impression on me…despite the city being small; it’s sparsely populated and just really understated overall.

Geographically and meteorologically, Helsinki is on the tip of a peninsula / atop 315 islands, and the winds coming off of the Gulf of Finland are fierce. Previously, I’d have said that Iceland was the windiest place I’ve ever marathoned, but Helsinki damn near felt like it was gonna blow my rain coat right off of me! These may read like deterrents, but this city is a masterclass in urban planning; there are public paths and public toilets everywhere (the lack of which is a huge gripe of mine worldwide). Not only is every single public toilet wheelchair accessible, but an old railway through the city centre has been converted into a car-less corridor for cyclists and pedestrians. The latter is also peppered with things like gardens and basketball courts and pingpong tables and seats to loaf on…and it just exemplifies the high standard of celebrated liveability here.

For shits and giggles, I wanted to put Helsinki’s urban planning to the test, and had my mind blown on a marathon there; using public paths to get to 12 different islands. On this rip I enjoyed Sibeliuksen puisto (which features the Brutalist memorial pictured above), I drank vegan hot chocolate nearby at the Cafe Regatta (which is a must-hit cottage-y snack bar type shack that feels like it’s from the 1800s), I went to Kaivopuisto at the bottom of the city, I loved everyone swimming off the amphitheatre structure at Pyhän Birgitan puisto beside Kaivo…but hated the nearby ‘Art Wall’ ‘cause it was a total con (it looks like a hand-painted mural in photos but in reality it’s just a bunch of digitally printed boards…so don’t bother with it). And island-wise, I enjoyed seeing the baller-ass homes on Lehtisaari and the diplomatic embassies on Kaskisaari. Basically, if you’re a runner or a hiker or a cyclist, you’ll love the human-powered island hopping you can do in Helsinki…it’s unlike anything else I’ve ever done.

City centre-wise, I found the hippest boutiques and the most sophisticated restaurants orbited in — and around — the Design District while the most architecturally stunning buildings and façades were close to the Esplanadi. I also don’t know what the hell this is but it was visually cool AF…and I’m just sharing it for the kids who read this newsletter (‘cause they always want the deets on the whereabouts of the most bangin’ backdrops for their ‘living my best life’ social me-dia photos).

But yo, the absolute standouts for me in Helsinki were the churches as well as this one bad-ass community sauna. The Temppeliaukion kirkko (pictured) was truly remarkable; built into / recessed within rock, and capped with a copper-lined dome. I hit it — a true architectural wonder — to escape a downpour and water was whoops-ily running down the rocks inside the church…and I heard The Big Dawg in my mind saying a Scotty-ism like, “A great idea that’s executed badly is just a dog shit idea.” However, the Helsingin tuomiokirkko and the Uspenskin katedraali were more structurally sound / waterproof churches…and beautiful for different architectural reasons. So hit ‘em all for God’s sake!

And if there’s just one thing to see/do in Helsinki, it’s the Sompasauna; it’s this mixed-gender, clothing-optional waterfront sauna that people from the community built / maintain. It sorta has this DIY Burning Man vibe with the slapdash construction and the wooden giraffes outside of it…and you can’t take photos there…but it was amazing to observe; total magnetism as this legit hang-out hub for locals of all ages. Allegedly the city is always tearing it down due to safety concerns — and users keep rebuilding it — and there’s all these high rise developments being built nearby (which makes me think its days are numbered)…but I know it’ll live on somewhere / somehow as the Finns are committed to good living; especially when it’s a shared public thing that is designed for the greater good. And that spirit…I felt it in Helsinki, and really like that playfully happy aspect ‘bout Finland.

*I wish I could’ve taken more photos in rainy-ass Helsinki…but I couldn’t risk destroying my only camera (which I can’t afford to replace). Anecdotally, I did contact Leica before this project started to see if they could / would give me a back-up camera, but the politely told me to fuck off. Fair play!

FIELD NOTES: TALLINN, ESTONIA

A loose tapestry of opposing memories

Tallinn is the kind of post-KGB place where you can still round a corner and intersect with a couple of old men who’ll size up your intentions as their talk lessens to inaudible whispers as they obscure their mouths with their cigarettes. Said another way, it’s a place with a lot of mistrust and mystery…and I was deeply enamoured with it.

Yes, Estonia sung itself into independence in 1991 after 50 years of illegal Soviet occupation, and yes, Estonia has since modernized…but the lure — for me — is just this on-going struggle between how Estonia physically defines itself — and controls the narrative of memory — using new symbology within an old landscape full of now-crumbling Soviet holdovers; be it sculptures, monuments or buildings. As such, I didn’t do traditional touristy stuff here because I was more interested in being a fucking history nerd / exploring long-abandoned things.

But Tallinn slaps even though it widely looks like shit; from the traditional haunted house-looking residences to the super depresso communist apartment complexes. It has suffered numerous occupations, extermination campaigns…and much destruction (i.e. Stalin publicly announced it’d be subject to a scorched earth policy when the Soviets abandoned it to the Nazis). So you can’t judge this battered book by its busted cover…rather I’d encourage you to read up on it then go there, and dive into the pages of this place where history is very much alive today.

I won’t bore the fuck out of you by overly harping on about history…but if you go to Tallinn, you gotta visit the Soviet Statue Graveyard on the grounds of the Ajaloomuuseumi Maarjamäe loss. It is free to do, and all the statues are contextualized with plaques that explain who the bust is, and where it originally lived in Tallinn (before the USSR died). It’s interesting because there are statues for Estonian collaborators and some are decapitated…and not out of anger (or for being traitors per se), but because locals looted the bronze at the time of independence ‘cause no one knew what the future economic outlook would be. Anyhoo, this is an easy / lazy way to get a quick summary about Estonia’s 20th century history without having to read books.

Paljassaare hoiuala is a nature preserve that is a few kilometres outside of the city centre. You can hike or trail run yer lil heart out there. Me? How can I say this without incriminating myself…well, the preserve is home to acres and acres of green space with some fenced-in paths…and in that mix of permissible / non-permissible parkland are some abandoned buildings (pictured) that one could explore if one was willing to thrash through very thick bush and cut up one’s legs if one was a stupid fucking idiot in tiny shorts that wished they had worn pants instead.

I don’t know the legality of such exploration but I asked a local dude walking his dog in the preserve if this would be trespassing and he replied, “It would only be trespassing if one got caught trespassing.” And lots of people here spoke to me in that kind of ‘cryptic winky’ language, and I appreciate that style of communication; where people tell ya something without saying it.

I gotta acknowledge that Tallinn does have a cobblestone-lined Old Town that is picturesque; with three story buildings rendered in muted yellows, robin’s egg blue, and pistachio green. However, I also gotta acknowledge that it is campy and kitschy because locals are in costumes and the whole thing feels like a Medieval Times Dinner cosplay convention done for the cheap entertainment of tourists.

Yes, it’s worth a stroll through…so long as you’re making your way to the nearby Telliskivi Loomelinnak, a sprawling ‘creative city’ housed in repurposed buildings.

Given Tallinn only has a population that’s a little over 425,000 people it’s impressive that this creative zone exists; it’s full of artist studios, galleries, bars, restaurants, and cafés. And you know the drill, there’s street art and pop-up exhibits outside and space for hanging out at your leisure…and this type of shit is always so vibrant and good vibes. There’s lots to check out but my faves were Fotogrifiska for photography exhibitions and Tali for design-forward goods.

And don’t sleep on hitting the nearby Terminal Records & Bar (which is the place to shop for vinyl records while getting drunk at its bar) as well as the Baltic Jaam Market which is like a farmer’s market meets food hall.

This whole district was bopping, and mondo inspiring; just young people flexing their ideas and their creativity, betting on themselves, and sprouting new life out of old derelict buildings.

The Pirita kloostri varemed are the preserved ruins of a 15th century monastery. It looks like a set piece from Game of Thrones that’d be fitting for a final duel in some big finale, and I visited it in the rain…and had it all to myself…and just had a moment there…in the sound-dampened grounds courtesy of the loose pebbled floor. It was a thing of beauty that near-glowed against the overcast backdrop, and I just wanted to share a photo of it. Plus, Ivan the Terrible ordered it to be attacked…and that’s why it no longer has a roof.

These days it’s so easy to be cynical and dismissive and just want to throw in the towel as the world’s on fire and jackasses are gifting out cluster bombs like NBD…but I really love our world and hope you do too, and hope we can continue to preserve things like this; passing beauty down from one generation to the next.

Construction over destruction and bridges over gulfs…and the interconnectedness of everything…and I just thought about those kinds of things here. And was grateful to be there peacefully in peacetime, ya dig?

The Maarjamäe Memorial in Tallinn is a pro-Soviet, anti-Estonian memorial to Bolshevik ‘victims’ of the 1918 Russian Civil War…who died fighting against independent Estonia in 1918. Given it was commissioned by invaders to celebrate invaders…its existence on Estonian lands makes it controversial amongst Estonians, more so after the country regained its independence from the USSR in the 1990s.

While Estonia has since built a Victims of Communism Memorial beside the Maarjamäe Memorial — where a new narrative battles an old narrative — I like that the latter (and much of the Soviet leftovers here) is slowly crumbling and breaking down; typically covered in graffiti and often fenced off because it’s so unsafe and shoddy.

I found all of it to be a tremendously powerful allegory; about how little Estonia outlasted the big USSR (and beat the odds by playing a long game), and how one is thriving today as the other — in the Putin iteration — is a hot mess. Intentional or not, I like that some of the Soviet structures here weren’t torn down…rather, they’ve just been left to actively — and slowly — die as Estonia lives on.

This is a very sensitive thing that has everything to do with oppression — and it is about that and not about me — but I nevertheless found it spoke to the power of endurance and the human capacity to achieve the unthinkable.

BEST LOCAL THING-Y

The bright primary colours of the banana-flavoured Crunchy bar first caught my eye a few months ago when I paused a marathon in Casablanca to scour a gas station kiosk for some fuel of my own. And there’s not much to say about this Polish-made muesli bar; it’s oats and banana and dark chocolate smushed together. And I’ve eaten like a hundred of ‘em in different countries on different continents on this ‘leg’ of the Marathon Earth Challenge.

I can’t say that this is the best thing I ate this week, but it was the most comforting…just this inexpensive snack that’s become a reliable and familiar ‘go to’ in unreliable and unfamiliar places where I’m often too tired to expend energy thinking about what to eat and/or where to find it.

This project isn’t the hardest thing but it isn’t the easiest thing either, and when I roll into somewhere new — and I’m marathon-battered — and I see a Crunchy bar when I’m physically feeling crunchy in my joints and in my body…it just makes me chuckle and feel like the universe has thrown me a vegan bone and/or just sent me an encouraging sign ala “Here’s your Crunchy bar you dumb fuck, now keep going ya silly little boy!”

I know this reads as dumb but I just wanted to share how some little things like this are small daily wins in a very long year where I’m going for the biggest victory of my life.

Anyhoo, I hope your version of a Crunchy bar manifests itself from time to time — and you crush it — as you crush whatever it is that you’re trying to tackle. Let’s all power up, and get ‘er done!

POBJOY’S GLOBAL PRICE INDEX

This is an on-going documentation of how much things cost in different places around the world. Here are some of the things I bought in Helsinki and Tallinn (all prices converted to USD):

• Three microwaveable ‘vegaaninen hernebolognesepasta’ meals (300 grams), one 180 gram box of tofu, and one 500 millilitre bottle of Pepsi Max from a grocery store in Helsinki: $15.54

• A one-way ticket for a 2 hour-long boat ride from Finland to Estonia: $37.13

• One 200 gram tub of hummus, one 500 millilitre bottle of Coke Zero, one 200 gram bag of organic dried dates, one 200 gram bag of a dried fruit and nut mix, two 220 gram packages of smoked tofu, and three 40 gram banana muesli Crunchy bars from a grocery store in Tallinn: $16.45

MARATHON MUSINGS

On play, imagination, and happiness

I believe in magic. And not woo-woo, but like being forcefully imaginative and unapologetically daydream-y as much as I can. Why? Because the transition from childhood to adulthood is a binary spiritual death where play gives way to responsibility, and I really hate how prevalent this cultural norm is in North America; where life gets so serious so fast, and toil replaces toys.

When I was a little boy, my Dad regularly took me and my littler brother to the Belfountain Conservation Area (which is part of the Niagara Escarpment in Ontario). It was an occasional weekend thing where we’d cram into the car, drive 30 minutes, and go walk around a park…which was a tough parental ‘sell’ to two kids in the 1980s who’d have much preferred to be playing Nintendo in the basement back home.

However, my Dad brilliantly — and imaginatively — gamified his quest to get his lazy, fat-ass sons moving…by magically converting some boring-ass park strolls into troll hunting! And me and Elliot, we believed it…for years.

Now to understand the game mechanics, you gotta understand Belfountain’s optimal terrain for make-believe; a park-y property bought by an inventor in the early 20th century who artificially built a suspension bridge in it and a waterfall and a ‘Yellowstone Cave’ full of concrete stalagmites and stalactites…importantly rendered off limits by a wrought iron gate…all set within forest-y, hilly, and rocky grounds with muddy footpaths throughout that people had stamped into the earth.

And it was here that my Dad told us that Raku and Romo lived, two trolls of unknown origin. And the premise was believable to us little idiots because my Dad spun some highly-detailed tale about how the trolls had been locked up in the cave, but now lived in the rocky hills…and we spent countless hours on the Belfountain grounds searching for them. And as a adult it’s hard to square…but when you’re a kid — and there’s a creepy cave and unprovoked sounds in a forest — it’s a logical and believable tale, and we absolutely loved being hot on the trail…of this infinite cold case.

Now, you’d think we’d have tired from our fruitless search but we didn’t…’cause my red apple-eating Dad told us that Raku and Romo subsisted on red apples (whadda fucking coincidence)…and my Dad would holler to us boys to come look out the window back home when the trolls had left us apples-as-evidence in the backyard — always atop our wooden fence — as they had written messages for us in the snow. And it drove me and Elliot crazy that we always just missed the trolls — who apparently came for us in the night — and these ‘yard provocations’ always reignited our desire to go back to Belfountain and look for them…despite never seeing them.

And within one’s imagination, the real doesn’t really matter; because you don’t have to see to believe. Plus, all horror movies suck when the monster is finally revealed and you find yourself thinking, “Ugh…that’s it? That’s what all the fuss is about?”

Anyway, I can’t exactly pinpoint when our family searches for Raku and Romo stopped…I guess when us kids stopped believing…but this week in Tallinn’s Glehni Park I finally saw a big-ass troll in the flesh…and with my very own eyes…nearly 35 years later.

The adult in me says it was a Kalevipoeg sculpture commissioned by an eccentric landowner named Nikolai von Glehn in the 19th century.

But the kid in me — the one I refuse to let die — I knew that the troll was either Raku or Romo. And when I happened to eat a red apple later that day, I could only wonder one thing; who had cast the spell that turned one of them into stone…and why?

Being told to ‘grow up’ by some dull, lifeless, and angry adult is always a pejorative…so be childish and never stop playing…because play fosters happiness…and that’s magic made real!

Have any questions about the content of this newsletter? Reply to it, and I'll try and answer you when it's safe to do so!